Sunday 24 June 2007

Pistols and politics


The man on my right looked thoroughly bored. He had been cornered by a small, yapping man of 50, who was offloading half-baked conspiracy theories like an over-excited child, apparently driving his audience to distraction. The man on my right wore a blank, glazed expression and stared around the synagogue disinterestedly, as Yappy warmed to his theme, "I mean - the BBC actually apologised for calling Jerusalem the capital of Israel! Apologised! Can you believe it?" My right hand man barely blinked as he continued, "But seriously, like it won't belong till the UN vote Israel out. Yeah. Within 5 years, some Arab state will propose it, the UN will vote and bang! They'll dissolve Israel. Good bye."

This was the fourth time in as many hours that I had heard the yapman cram his three pet hates into one anecdote, and I was delighted finally to see another man as bored with his nonsense as I was. Or so I thought. But then the man to my right looked up at the yapper and fixed his gaze. He paused, heavy with solemnity, before finally speaking: "You ready for the war?" He asked. " ... It's gonna be big."

Fantastic. I was in a room full of idiots. (read on at commentisfree)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Josh

I didnt post on the CIF thread because Im in Britain following a training course now and havent the time to demolish BatYam's and justwoderings constant apologetics (will get back to that task next week). But just wanted to encourage your writing projects - I enjoy your articles immensely, as I do your brother's. More power to your elbows !

ginger

Josh said...

Thanks Ginger. Yeah, one comment on cif can often lead to losing a full day of your life or more. It's demanding work.
If only all of us had the dedication, energy and unparalleled arrogance of my cousin Seth, for whom no argument is too small and no commenter unworthy of his scorn and derision.

By the way, he's not my brother. He's not even my bro. Or bruvva. "Bruvs" at a push, but even then I wouldn't want anyone else to know...